Have i told you lately

when one is growing up,

the soul takes up more space than the body needs

it hangs on to every praise, every love, every smile and twinkle in the eye

to circumvent the negativities of daily comings

today i felt like a baby blue who needs to throw her tantrum

who will be understanding enough not to judge?


in the battle field of emotions

you either hurt or be hurt

i wish he was here to teach me how

hes my green light

someone i wish to run to and never turn around

i wish not to be blinded by the sun

but be bathed in the warmth of moonlight

the only one that guides me home

oh and did i tell you

home might not be back

i am in search of mine in the far away land of love

...I know this is love

Sometimes seeing him smile

Melts my worries. His baby angelic smile is always hidden behind his ego

With me, he is the 9 year old boy he always wish to remember

He said pauline looked like peter pan today

I hope she can bring us back to the days when we never have to grow up

He told me a lot of things, taught me a lot of ways of thinking

He said life is hard, but our job is to make it easier for ourselves

He said its all about figuring out how it works

The mechanism of life, that is the key to happiness

Being content is a side effect of understanding

Be it love, life or lament

He told me things I wanted to hear and those I don't

He drew me a painting, taught me to be strong

He told me to follow my dreams, not in a airy lighthearted way

But concretely, to fly away with him, to be near him, to build our little community of heaven together

He told me to write a letter of appreciation to my mother

Never to forget to tell her how amazing a mother she is

He told me to have to visit my parents in Hong Kong at least once every year

He said other than your family, you are alone in this world

 How much value are words worth?

But when I look into his eyes

I know its love. 

never too much love

if i am too tiny to embrace your sorrows

let my eyes hug your soul

this christmas we filled it with smiles and laughter

but why even if thoughts are stubborn time is short

let me not be greedy, but shelter all the good

memories are chosen, life is to learn

so i learn to remember what he said to me

"theres never too much love"

forget me not

Maybe I kept myself really busy with life

So I can stop thinking about the things that pierce my heart

Who doesn't get hurt anyways

Who does the earth stop spinning for

Until I tried to draw the bear

The talks about how I didn’t care

I realize I took it a little too far

A little too seriously

And it killed us

Just because you cared too much

And now,

He stayed the same, I changed my lifestyle

I need to be safe and sound

But you are walking above the ground

When someday we can both find a new personality

So that the love doesn’t get lost in translation

We can fall back into the stars

And try 

Can you hear me?

i was singing until i realise i had to lower down to a whisper

because he always said I was too loud

then I realise again

that he probably couldn't really hear me at all now

maybe he would have wanted me to shout

but I decide to sing

I hope

If I sing beautifully enough

it would soften his worn out heart




p.s. today I asked my brother what his favourite colour is, he said it's red.

       I hope he doesn't hurt too many hearts when he grow up

I am wonderstuck to have met you

we walked, we stopped, its closed

he looked sad, i tried to make him smile, he is determined to find his own way

we started to walk again, i told him silently that i don't care where we were when i'm with him

we stopped, in front of a familiar place

we sat, down and I saw the old me

with the old him on the other side of the table 

it felt like yesterday

when nothing but him matters the world to me

and now we are sitting here on the other side

he told me that the beef yakitori taste like heaven

I smiled

I wish I can let him know

how glad I was on the other side with him 

when I started to explain, the memories that hurt

he started to laugh, and told me about the pork neck salad he had at home

which is way worse than the pork neck asparagus yakitori we had 

I wanted him to let me know

how much love it takes 

to make a wounded girl smile 

as if yesterday did not happen 

thankyou

I am always here, where your heart lies

i met a man

who told me things i dont know 

and things i wanted to find out 

he made me reconsider, when it took me 3 years to learn to stop where the mind starts to wander 

he made me feel safe 

to believe that it can be better 

and that there are always more than one route that leads to the same goal 

sometimes I wish I can wipe the tiredness from his eyes 

what has he seen that I haven't?

how can he believe in what I don't? 

he loved me in a way that made me stronger

I learned to walk home in the dark, fearless

because he is the only one who took me home 

made me feel safe and sound 

he made me smile to myself at times when I am awake 

he made me feel that there is more to each day, than just longing for a better tomorrow

I wanted to let him know 

I couldn't let go 

he said he can forget the pain of work when he enjoys our presence

I hope I can make his world better 

with love